Cruel Cards
by Poe2
Summary: A B/V set in those three famous years. Romance is brewing between Bulma and Vegeta, but what happens when something goes horribly wrong and a force drives them apart? One twist leads to another in a fanfic that proves to be anything but predictab


Cruel Cards 

By Poe

Chapter One: Going the Distance 

It was a good thing Bulma had worn socks.

She realized this notion as the balls of her feet pressed into the ground as soundlessly as they could, one after another. Sneaking up on Vegeta would require stealth, patience, and socks to muffle the sound of her footsteps, of course.

Bulma continued her trek as slowly as she could to insure the highest amount in prudence. Even the slightest creak of a floorboard would give away her presence, so caution was key. She wasn't too certain Saiyans had delicate hearing, but she didn't want to find out at a critical moment like this one.

Her subject was nearing, and Bulma was eager to close the gap between them. Quelling her urge to do so suddenly, she managed to continue tiptoeing towards the Saiyan prince. A thought crossed her mind as she did so, seeing as she had plenty of time to think. Was tiptoeing the best way to sneak up on someone? Was there a better foot maneuver she could pull off with less noise?

Shaking off the thought, she approached her target and planned her next attack. Tackling him seemed like the best option, but she wasn't sure it would have the desired effect. Deciding on going with it anyway, she crouched a bit and launched herself right away.

As she was sailing through the air, however, she noticed Vegeta side step and his arm reach out behind her.  Grabbing her with a single arm in mid-flight, he prevented her from landing in a mess of pots and pans on the counter top. He also, however, cleverly prevented her from issuing her attack.

She gasped in shock at the realization that he knew she was coming all along and swiveled her head to the side and up at him to throw him a death glare. Sure she had to crane her neck to do so seeing as he had caught her in an awkward position with his steel-like arm looped around her waste.

"You knew!" she exclaimed, throwing an array futile punches at his stomach.

"Of course I knew, with that racket you were making, who wouldn't?" he said, laughing as her struggle greatened.

"You… jerk! How could you!" His laughter greatened at her misery and he let go of her. She gasped again and hit the floor with a thud. Bulma's face filled with shock and anger as she jumped up and readied herself to assault him.

"Hey! You aren't supposed to drop me, that's so heartless, you bastard!" She clenched her fists and her eyes flared up with childish anger.

"Well, I did. Oh, and I believe this is what you came for," Vegeta said, as he took his plate of chocolate mousse cake and nonchalantly slid it under her face.

"That's the last slice, there was no way I was going to let you have it!"

"So that's why you decided on trying to attack me, the mystery is revealed," he said with a great deal of sarcasm. Vegeta took a desert fork and began to cut out a piece of it just to spite her.

"Give that back, I had to go all the way to the bakery to get that!" Sure, she was wailing like a five-year-old, but he didn't deserve that piece of cake. At least she didn't try to snatch it from him, she knew his Saiyan reflexes would humiliate her.

"Well then, you'd better boil some green tea so I can enjoy this more," he said smirking.

"Yeah, I'll boil it all right, and then poor it in your lap, you desert thief!"

"Ha! You go ahead and try that while I eat this well-earned slice of cake."

"Fine! Have it! But don't expect me to give you any more cake EVER again. You got it?" Bulma said, not feeling as though she had backed down.

"Why wait for you to offer me some when I can just take it myself?"

Bulma gritted her teeth with anger. "Lazy thief!"

"Pathetic weakling!" he responded with equal fire.

"Inconsiderate asshole!"

"Lowly wench!"

"Ungrateful royal-pain-in-the-ass!"

"Ugly, profane shrew!" he retorted, but regretted it when he saw the look on her face.

"Ugly?" she said, stopping the slew of insults, "You think I'm ugly?"

Bulma didn't stop this verbal sparring because she believed him, but that she thought it was odd he chose those words. Out of all the insults he had called her before, ugly was a first. Plus, she had a feeling she was getting into something.

"No, you're not ugly… You're hideous!"

"Ha! I'm gorgeous. You're just saying that because you want me!"

He scoffed regally and walked over to the table. "The only thing I want is this cake, not some stubborn harpy."

"Don't deny it, I mean, who wouldn't want me?" He raised an eyebrow, shook his head, and took a bite of the cake.

"Your equally hideous lover, that's for sure," Vegeta said, after swallowing his cake.

She paused for a moment and looked at him quizzically. "Yamucha? Why do say that? You're not just trying to change the subject, are you?"

"Don't play dumb, woman, it's obvious that he only views you as a passing fancy."

Her jaw dropped. Was Vegeta… jealous? Or did he, maybe, have a point? "And what gave you that idea?"

"Whenever I'm in this house all you two do is talk on the phone. Lately, there's been a shortage of the endless prattle. He obviously has grown disinterested. Not that I'm complaining, the shortage of babbling is, to say the least, welcomed," he said casually as he continued on his desert.

Bulma paused to think that over. He was right about the lack of conversation, Yamucha hadn't called her for a week and a half. Usually he called every night and they would talk for hours. Their last conversation lasted 20 minutes, and for no visible reason.

"Well, ok, not that it's any of your business, do you have any idea why?"

He raised an eyebrow and continued regally eating his cake. "No, and nor do I care. And if it's really 'none of my business', than you shouldn't be asking me."

"You're a guy! You have to have an idea! Or is it too soon to tell?"

"He's lost interest in you. Even an idiot like you can figure that out."

"But it's just been 10 or 12 days! Should I really read into it too much?"

"You humans are pathetic, I still can't believe you haven't picked up that he's been having an affair."

Bulma stopped, and her eyes widened in fear. "What are you talking about?"

He shook his head and ate the last crumbs off his plate. "No, I'm not going to be part of this ridiculous human drama, consider this conversation ended."

"What? That's it? You tell me he's having an affair and then you won't say anything else?" she said touching his arm to stop him. He immediately brushed it off.

"Yes, deal with it. I'm not your gossip partner, woman."

"You've got enough unflattering labels from me, Vegeta, just tell me why you think that!"

"I told you, this conversation's over. If you want to know why he's having an affair, ask him yourself." He got up from his chair and left his empty plate behind. Bulma paced behind him frantically and immediately followed him as he left the kitchen.

"No! You can't do this to me! Come on Vegeta," she whined.

"If you really want me to continue this pointless chat you'll have to do better than that."

"Will you be bribed?" she said, baiting him with her intonation.

"It'll take more than a slice of cake, I'll tell you that."

"Ok! How about a whole cake? With extra chocolate!"

He paused for a second, considering the idea. "No. This banter has gone on long enough, I've training to continue."

She frowned and planted her hands on her hips. "Ok then, your favorite salmon teriyaki with sake rice and the Brief family's finest miso soup. And that's including the cake."

He stopped again and thought this over. He did have a soft spot for sake rice. "The horse shit you've been feeding me the time I've been here has given this offer more appeal," he admitted, lengthening the pause to balance his pride and hunger.

"Come on, you're an authentic warrior-prince, it's only logical and necessary that you have the appetite of one," she said in an attempt to soften up his pride barrier.

"Fine! I'll accept this offer under one condition. All of this food has to come from a restaurant; I don't trust your teriyaki. And a good restaurant, no, the finest. Is that understood?"

Bulma nodded furiously. "We can eat out, it'll be great. Tomorrow I'm not busy, that should do."

"And tomorrow I'll tell you. There, this mess is settled. I'll not waste any more time. Especially not on this, especially not on you."

Bulma rolled her eyes at the last comment but then quickly snapped back to reality and went to sit down.

She collapsed into the feathery couch with a huff, not knowing what to think. Her mind was reeling from her last conversation; could you really extort so much information from the Saiyan prince in just one sitting? She had learned that Vegeta not only thought that Yamucha was having an affair, but also that he held a great deal of interest in her life. Bulma really wouldn't have expected so much from their first decent conversation.

The fact that Vegeta took notice of the lack of phone calls and associated that with turmoil in a relationship he shouldn't care less about was very unlike him, at least, in Bulma's mind.  It was bizarre, like catching Vegeta watching a soap opera, an event that would be shocking no matter what his excuse. Only this soap opera was real, and one he really wasn't supposed to be interested in.

In any case, the result of their little chat was a diner date and a trip to the forest of suspicion, no doubt. Bulma had always thought that there was a chance Yamucha and infidelity went hand and hand, he did have the attitude and looks. If he hadn't been so shy around girls when she met him, she would've suspected an affair from the start.

Consequently, Bulma was agitated, annoyed, and at the same time gleeful her blackmail had worked beautifully. While her relationship with Yamucha always left her with a myriad of emotions, her relationship with Vegeta regarding Yamucha was far more complex. She couldn't even begin to imagine a relationship with Vegeta outside of what she had now, it was bound to be unthinkably complicated.

"What am I thinking?" she exclaimed to herself and gave herself a mental slap in the face. A relationship with Vegeta? The idea was laughable. He probably couldn't hold a commitment with a woman for more than a week, especially not with a woman he pretended he hated.

And that led her to another train of thought. Did he really hate her? As much as he tried to enforce the idea, probably not. He acted this way with everyone and he couldn't possibly hate every one of them. He certainly wasn't fond of her, but hate seemed like such a strong feeling for him to feel towards her. Yes, they had their quarrels, but like the cake incident, they never seemed to be really serious about things around each other.

Then again, leave it to Vegeta to be serious about cake.

She giggled at the thought and grabbed the remote. Thinking about Vegeta too long was never a good thing; some television would take her mind off of it.

The television went on with a click and Bulma settled back in the couch to watch one of her favorite shows, "Oh My God!" Just as she was getting into the scenario the show was presenting, the telephone sounded.

"Urg, hold on," she muttered in frustration to the telephone as she got up to answer it, leaving the television show running in the background.  The phone had rang its third, annoying ring by the time she got to it.

"Yeah, Bulma speaking," she said monotonously.

"Hey, Bulma," Goku said on the other line, sounding shy and nervous.

"Goku, buddy, what's up? I haven't heard from you on a telephone in a while," she said, all smiles.

"Yeah, heh, sorry about that. Um, are we still set for tomorrow night?" he asked while twirling the phone cord around his finger anxiously.

"Tomorrow night? Oh, I'm so sorry, I set up a dinner thing with Vegeta and you know how he is. Can I take a rain check?"

"Wow, hold on, you're going out with Vegeta?"

She giggled. "No, silly, of course not. I'm just trying to bribe him for information, so I'm taking him to a restaurant. A good one, too."

"Well, it's good to hear you two are getting along," he said, sounding relieved.

"Not exactly, but as well as we can. So who's coming along with us to the movies?"

There was a brief pause on the other line. "Uh, I'll try to get Krillin to come along. He recommended the movie."

"I trust his taste, it sounds like fun. When can we reschedule?"

"Well, I told Gohan I'd train with him Wednesday, so is Thursday ok?"

"Sure, I haven't had anything to do lately. Can you believe it? Maybe it's because of Yamucha." Immediately after saying that she clamped her hand over her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut in regret. Goku was one of her best friends, but this was too embarrassing to discuss. Especially because it was a problem that was new and obscure, and she didn't think Goku would understand.

"Yamucha? What happened, Bulma?"

Bulma glared at the phone. Goku could be so ignorant sometimes, didn't he know when it wasn't ok to pry?

"Oh, nothing, we just haven't seen each other for a while."

"Bulma, that's not right."

She sighed audibly. Bulma didn't need more suspicion and doubt to plague her; the wounds were still fresh.  "No, it's fine, I just talked to him on the phone and everything's fine," she lied.

"You know, Bulma, I'm your friend and I'm here for you. You can tell me anything," he said with genuine concern.

"Then let me tell you that everything's fine and you don't need to worry."

"Ok, I won't keep bothering you. I should go anyway. It was nice talking to you," he said sheepishly.

"I'll see you Thursday, then."

"Sounds good."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Both parties hung up and Bulma sighed with relief. It seemed like everyone was on her case about Yamucha. Who would of thought a week and a half could cause so much ridiculous hassle? Maybe Yamucha would just call and they would have a talk and everything would be ok. But then again, why did Vegeta act like he knew something that was worth hiding from her? And Goku, he seemed pretty strange on the phone, was this some secret everyone was into but her?

"Ok, now I'm getting paranoid," she assured herself, walking back to the couch and sitting down. Whatever the case, her brief conversation with Goku was nothing curious and neither was her conversation with Vegeta. Things were fine with Yamucha and her worry was just the foolish jealousy of a concerned girlfriend.

At least, she thought so.

After Bulma's conversation with Goku, she had settled back on the couch. Not even twenty minutes passed before she fell asleep during the program. This wasn't typical of her, but she and her friends had gone to a party the other night and she hadn't slept in as late as she would've wished.

She went to the party mainly to enjoy her self-given vacation she had announced to her father and the employees of Capsule Corporation; she felt she had worked too hard and deserved a two-week hiatus from the working world. Bulma did admit to herself that going on hunts for dragon balls or helping her friends save the world had left her unaccustomed to business and duty. She might even consider herself spoiled, if she didn't endure all the craziness she had already.

Spoiled or not, she set aside for herself a two-week period of rest and relaxation. Typical of her, but also in her mind, well deserved. Bulma Briefs wasn't about to get herself stressed over her business when she could be vegetating on the couch or sunning in her lavish backyard.

In any case, her unintentional nap was about to be abruptly and rudely ended by a certain Saiyan prince. As she was lying there, an infuriated Vegeta stormed up to her sleeping figure and crossed his arms across his chest and fumed. When Bulma didn't respond, he took action.

"Woman!" he said with a sharp, yet low growl. She twitched and shifted, her eyes slowly opening. As soon as she caught sign of the looming prince, she flinched and sunk back into the couch.

"What is it now, Vegeta?" she said, failing to suppress a yawn.

"What is it? I'll tell you what it is! This!" he waved a fresh, almost new box of Pocky in her face.

"Yeah, so?" she said, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Then, it dawned on her.

Knowing Vegeta's love for the chocolaty, store-bought snack, she had hidden it in her underwear drawer after she bought it at the local Supermarket. This was all to make sure the Saiyan prince wouldn't get at it, which as the cake incident had previously illustrated, it was a common occurrence. Her private drawer seemed like it would be the one place he wouldn't look, but evidently he had discovered it. How he had was another question entirely.

"How did you find that?" she exclaimed, outraged, "I put that in my underwear drawer, you lecher!"

"You think I can't smell chocolate if it's packaged? You've obviously underestimated my Saiyan sense of smell," he said, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Yeah, but from the hallway? What were you doing in my room!"

"I wasn't in your room when I smelled it! Of course from the hallway!" he lied. Vegeta had snuck into her room out of curiosity, but he was far too proud to admit it. Besides, he had only spent a few seconds before he picked up the sent, so it was hardly considered any time.

"You still riffled through my underwear drawer, you pervert."

"Don't change the subject, woman, you've been caught guilty! I believe that for hiding such a thing for me I deserve more than a mere box of Pocky. Your secrecy and deceit has earned me at least 4 boxes."

"4 boxes?!" Bulma cried, outraged, "Ok, I hid it from you, but now you know where I hide my Pocky and you've found a box for yourself. Isn't that enough?"

"Enough? You tricked me, woman! Such guile should be punished!"

"Fine ok, I'm sorry," she said, flashing him an innocent look, "but 4 boxes, come on. Isn't there anything else I can do to make it up to you, anything at all?"

As soon as she said that, she wished she could take it back. It came out so seductive and suggestive, who'd have know she could be so inadvertently sensual? Especially with a phrase that could've easily been misinterpreted like that one, and especially with Vegeta, who seemed eager to sort out a few sexual puns from an innocent conversation.

Sure enough, he gave a sly, devious smirk and crossed his recently uncrossed arms.

"Anything?"

"No! Wait, I didn't mean it in that way!"

He gave a mischievous, Vegeta-like snicker and added, "You're positive about that?"

"Yes! Of course!"

"Because, you know, things could be arranged. I **am** a prince, after all."

"I didn't mean it that way, you pervert!" she sobbed in a childish manner.

"Pervert? You shouldn't be talking with where your priorities lie. A couple boxes of Pocky and you're ready to jump me in exchange…" He snickered as she leaped up and began throwing a multitude of playfully angry punches at his arm and stomach. He had earned his desired response; it was far too easy to agitate the fiery-tempered Bulma.

"Jump you? You've got some sick interpretations, you punk! I was thinking in the line of extra food, not… not… sexual favors!"

"Sexual favors? Funny, I don't recall using that term exactly…"

"Oh, you jerk! You're just trying to piss me off, aren't you?" she said, crossing her arms and turning her head to the side.

"And doing a spectacular job of it, I might add," Vegeta responded, taking extra care to rub it in.

"Sure, whatever, just take your Pocky and get out of here before I **actually** get mad."

"I've no problem with leaving, wench, I wouldn't want to be assaulted, or anything. What with those crazy thoughts running around in your head, you might get ideas." Bulma gasped in offence and clenched a fist.

"How dare you! I am not a wench!" she said, but then stopped for a moment in realization, "No, I won't get mad at this. That's exactly what you want me to do. You've been trying to anger me this whole time, so I'm not going to give in."

"Fine, whatever you want. I'm going to the gravity room to train before you even attempt to molest me any further."

"Molest? Further? What in the hell? You creep!"

He stopped and acted surprised. "Who said anything about me meaning **sexually** molested? You're just getting these ideas again!" he said, laughing as her face twisted in anger. He turned to leave as he heard the woman make a deafening screech and didn't even wince as the pitch nearly disabled him.

"VEGETA!!" she yelled, but he had left hastily and she was alone in the room.

"You pervert", Bulma thought to herself, staring at where he once had been, "I have a feeling you're going to get me into a lot of trouble."

A shudder passed through her as those words left her head, and she had this strange feeling that those words were about to be more than speculation.

Authors Note: "Oh My God!" and "Pocky" are both real and some of the wonders I encountered in my stay in Japan, sort of inside jokes with my Japanese and Japan-visiting friends. I know I'm not an expert on Japan or anything, but I'll do anything in my power to keep from making this fic Americanized. Dragon Ball Z is a Japanese show and a fanfic about it should recognize this. I find it a relief when people use their Japanese names in fanfics, but I avoided that because I'm used to the American/Spanish ones which are different from the Japanese ones.

Anyway, sorry for ranting, but I just wanted to point that out to encourage other readers, if at all possible. Thanks!

(Oh, and P.S.: you can find imported Pocky in the U.S. with English written on it and everything. I recommend this snack to anyone who hasn't tried it yet, although I'm sure a lot of you anime fans have. ^-^ Speaking of which, if you're wondering how I got the idea for the Pocky incident, I had bought a box of Pocky and immediately stashed it in my secret hiding place to prevent my step dad from finishing it off. I thought it would be a funny and fitting situation between Vegeta and Bulma, so I added it in. Cute, huh? Ok, well that's enough of that…)


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